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The Changing of Your Social Life & Community With Divorce

Posted by Penn A. Dodson | Oct 08, 2020 | 0 Comments

I'll be blunt: when you get divorced, your social life changes. Almost always.

But wait, there's more! Sometimes – MOST of the times – that can be a GOOD thing.

Often, it's for the better – way.  Sometimes, and/or in other realms, it's awkward and requires some navigation to get through the changes.

The good news is that if you're intentional and proactive about these shifts, it can be an amazing gift for years to come.

First, there are the shallow relationships – the other couples that you used to hang out with, have dinner parties or BBQs with, or ski en-masse with. People that are there because they're roughly the same age, socio-economic class, education, and relational status as you. A fun group to hang out with maybe. But BFFs for life? More than likely, not. So as you shift away from your marriage, you may also find yourself shifting away from these shallow (but fun) relationships. Is it a net loss? Eh. It needn't be.

This is an opportunity for you to deepen your connections with your Community. Your Tribe. Your Peeps. However you may define that – neighborhood, outdoor adventure group, spiritual community, cool coworkers' cohort (CCC for short). This phase in your life does not equate to lonely singles club status as it may have been for your grandparents who were widowed early.

And, getting involved in a Community also does not mean that you are relegated to a circle of elderly knitters for the rest of your life (not that I have ANYTHING against knitters, mind you, as I happen to be an adamant and avid one). It doesn't preclude you from dating ever again. In fact, in some way or another, it may actually end up facilitating or strengthening your new relationship.

If there's some activity that you used to do as a couple that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing alone, take heart: in this day and age, with as many social networking platforms and activity apps as there are in the world, it really is not that much trouble to connect with someone you can do those things with in a fun and safe way.

This is not silver lining stuff – this is legit: see your revised social life as a positive benefit of your new life, rather than something that you're sacrificing.

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