Divorce is common, but that doesn’t mean that it’s well understood. No one goes into a marriage thinking that they’ll get divorced someday, so most people aren’t familiar with how the process works legally, or what their life will look like practically along the way and after the papers have been finalized. Sometimes the unraveling of a marriage is years in the making, but it’s not always a predictable event; every single divorce is unique! This means that even if you’ve seen friends or family members navigate divorce, yours may unfold completely differently.
So what is divorce like - or more importantly, what will your divorce be like? Is there a way to tell before making the decision to get divorced, and do you even have control over what the experience ends up as? Our Colorado family lawyers here at New Leaf Family have an extensive background in guiding clients through divorce in such a way that promotes growth and lays a strong foundation for the future. We’ve handled hundreds of marital splits. Here’s our best way of explaining what divorce is like!
First off (and this may not seem like the most helpful answer, but it actually may be more beneficial to you than you initially realize) the details and the big picture of your divorce are going to depend on your life circumstances. As we already mentioned, no two divorces are the exact same! How expensive your divorce is, how smooth, how full of conflict, how quickly it is “over with”, how it changes your family and extended family relationships, how healthy your finances will be when all is said and done, how happy you will be when all is said and done - all of that depends on a variety of different factors. Some of those factors are in your realm of control, and some are not.
For example, if you have children, and you and your spouse are willing to work together to decide what the right custody arrangement is, you will likely cut down on the amount of fighting and money involved. It’s up to you to decide to collaborate, but you can’t help (or always predict) if your spouse will be willing to as well. Which brings us to our next point…
Divorce is always hard. No matter what. Even if you and your spouse are on completely great terms, even if you have an incredibly supportive group of family and friends, even if you haven’t been married for that long, even if you don’t have kids, ending a marriage can be emotional. The decisions you have to make will affect the rest of your lives. It can be tough to know how to choose wisely, and you may be dealing with a lot of uncertainty or even worry about what the future will hold. However, just because divorce is difficult doesn’t mean that it has to be complicated. A lot of people think that divorce is like war, but battling for property and custody should always be a last resort. The right law firm can give you good advice about what decisions will put you and your family on the most straightforward, simple path to the life you want to live!
It Should Be Center Around Your Goals
Many divorce attorneys are focused on helping clients achieve what the attorney thinks is best for them or can do for them based on their experience - not on what the clients actually want. They then ask them to spend large amounts of money to get the attorney’s ideal outcome; when all the dust has settled, the clients realize that they’re not anywhere near where they really wanted to be, and they have no idea what to do next.
The way that you and your attorney approach the divorce process should be, at the very least, laser focused on getting you where you want to go. Many people who are starting out in divorce have no idea what they want, and that’s okay. At New Leaf Family, we take the time to engage you in a process of discovering and clarifying your goals so that everything we do for you revolves around them!
There are many divorce firms out there, but not all of them have many years of experience in family law or focus on family law; some only dabble in it, and aren’t as familiar with Colorado divorce laws or procedures. Not all firms attempt to take an amicable approach first if possible. Not all firms will listen to you and communicate with you frequently so you know what to expect and what your options are. Essentially, not all law firms are equally well-equipped or qualified to give your situation the care it deserves! Earlier when we talked about how there are a few factors of divorce that are inside your control, and the attorney you trust to help you is one of them.
At New Leaf Family, we don’t take on cases; we work with clients. Our top priority is empowering you to make the decisions that are right for your family’s needs and arrive at your desired destination! The members of our team are trained as lawyers, paralegals, counselors, and in other professions, but we consider ourselves coaches who are here to guide you every step of the way through divorce.
We know that divorce can seem overwhelming, stressful, and frightening. We can help you see this as a beginning - a starting line for a bright new chapter of your life, the turning over of your New Leaf. Change happens. You can’t avoid it, but you can grow from it!
It costs nothing to call our firm and have a conversation about your next steps. We can explain what your divorce may be like and what we can do to serve you during this transition. Call New Leaf Family today!