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How to Avoid Common Mistakes During Divorce and Set Yourself Up for Success

Jul 9, 2025

Going through a divorce is often one of the most difficult experiences a person can face. Between dealing with emotional turmoil, navigating complex legal procedures, and making decisions that will affect the rest of your life, it’s easy to make mistakes. However, avoiding the most common divorce mistakes can help you achieve a smoother, more favorable outcome.

1. Focusing on Retaliation Instead of Moving Forward

The #1 mistake many people make during divorce is focusing on retaliation. When emotions run high, it’s tempting to want to get back at your spouse for past wrongdoings. However, allowing these emotions to drive your decisions will only harm you in the long run.

Instead of focusing on the past, work on building a better future for yourself and your family. Look for ways to move forward, whether it’s through finding a new living situation, setting up a clear custody agreement, or starting fresh with your finances. Letting go of retribution will not only help you emotionally, but it will also create a more favorable environment for your case.

2. Overlooking the Emotional Impact of Divorce

Divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s also an emotional one. Divorce can trigger feelings of sadness, anger, and betrayal, which can cloud your judgment. These emotions often cause people to make rash decisions that they later regret.

While it’s essential to acknowledge your emotions, it’s equally important to separate them from the legal process. Focus on being strategic and making decisions based on logic and what’s best for you and your children. If necessary, seek counseling or therapy to help you process your emotions in a healthy way.

3. Custody Mistakes: Not Considering Your Child’s Best Interest

One of the most crucial decisions in a divorce is child custody. The #1 mistake people make in custody battles is focusing on their own desires rather than the needs of their children. It’s important to recognize that custody arrangements are about the child’s well-being, not your relationship with your ex.

Co-parenting should be the primary focus, and courts tend to favor shared custody arrangements that are in the child’s best interest. By working together with your ex to create a fair parenting plan, you can ensure your children are not placed in the middle of a battle and that their needs are prioritized.

4. Failing to Follow Court Orders

When a divorce begins, there are often temporary court orders in place regarding finances, child support, custody, and more. A common mistake is failing to adhere to these orders. Whether it’s not paying child support on time or failing to follow temporary custody schedules, ignoring court orders can lead to severe consequences.

It’s critical to comply with all court orders, even if you disagree with them. Not only does this demonstrate respect for the legal process, but it can also positively impact your case when it comes time for a final decision.

5. Hiding Assets or Failing to Disclose Financial Information

Failing to disclose all of your financial information is one of the most common mistakes in divorce. Trying to hide assets or undervaluing them in hopes of receiving a more favorable division of property can backfire in a big way. Courts take financial transparency seriously, and failing to disclose assets can lead to penalties or an unfair settlement.

Be honest and upfront about your financial situation. If you’re unsure about your assets or liabilities, consult a forensic accountant or work with your attorney to ensure all information is properly disclosed. Transparency in finances will ultimately work in your favor.

6. Jumping Into New Relationships Too Quickly

While it may feel comforting to start a new relationship during or right after a divorce, this can lead to complications. New relationships can create emotional issues and may even be used against you in custody battles. It’s important to give yourself time to heal before pursuing new relationships.

In addition, jumping into a new relationship can send the wrong message to your ex, potentially complicating custody and other decisions. Take time for self-reflection and personal growth before getting involved with someone else.

7. The Importance of Legal Compliance for a Positive Outcome

To ensure a favorable divorce outcome, it’s crucial to comply with all legal requirements and court orders. Courts take a dim view of non-compliance, and failure to follow directives can hurt your case. Demonstrating that you can adhere to legal requirements, especially regarding custody and child support, will show the court that you’re a responsible parent and spouse.

Christopher Anderson

Christopher Anderson

Attorney

Christopher is a really smart guy (no … he did not write this!) He can analyze and pick apart a dense legal argument like nobody’s business, and then in the next breath explain special relativity or space-time to an 8-year-old. And Christopher has a passion for changing the way Family Law is practiced. He founded New Leaf Family with the dual purpose of: Working to empower clients to make the best decisions for themselves and their families; To make the financial aspect of Family Law more predictable and straightforward for clients. By keeping most decisions in the hands of our clients, Christopher believes they will have more satisfaction with the outcomes, and their families will come through to the next chapter in much better shape. Christopher received his A.B. from Cornell University a really long time ago, when some men had mullets and still took themselves seriously. After Cornell, Christopher went to Georgia, and achieved his J.D.. from the University of Georgia, around the time when you’d hear songs on the radio about things being “ironic” that really aren’t. Christopher started his legal career by prosecuting bad guys accused of horrific sex, crimes for the Bronx District Attorney’s office, and the courtroom became his second home. Over the years he has practiced in several different areas, handling matters as diverse as nasty divorces and custody battles to serving as general counsel to tech companies to representing pilots in licensing issues. In addition to being a scary trial lawyer when called upon to whip out those skills, Christopher also has developed a habit of being invited to give talks to other lawyers about legal technology and law practice management at big lawyer conferences, and works to help other lawyers across the country to improve their law firms as well. Like Penn, Christopher is admitted to practice law in the state and federal courts of Colorado, New York and Georgia. Christopher enjoys snow skiing, oenology, quantum mechanics and astrophysics. He is a frequent, if not always enthusiastic, runner. He is conversational in Dutch and roots for the Netherlands during the World Cup. He makes a mean cappuccino and prefers his martinis stirred, not shaken.