Divorce is difficult under any circumstances, but when conflict between the parties runs high, child custody decisions become significantly more complicated. In Colorado, courts take a careful, individualized approach to custody in high conflict cases, focusing above all on what serves the best interests of the child. If you are navigating a high conflict divorce, understanding how the court evaluates these situations can help you stay prepared and make better decisions for your family.
What Makes a Divorce “High Conflict”?
High conflict divorces are generally characterized by a breakdown in trust, an inability to find common ground, and a pattern of hostility between the parties. This often includes blame, accusations, angry communications, and an overall inability to reach agreements. However, high conflict cases are not all the same.
In some cases, the conflict is concentrated around financial matters while the parents are actually able to cooperate when it comes to raising their children. In other cases, the parents may have no disagreements about money but are completely unable to work together on even basic parenting decisions. And in the most difficult situations, the parties simply cannot agree on anything.
Because every high conflict case is different, Colorado courts take a deeply individualized approach. There is no one-size-fits-all formula. The court examines the specific dynamics between the parents and considers how the conflict is affecting the children before making any decisions about custody or parenting time.
What the Court Looks for in High Conflict Custody Cases
When conflict is a defining feature of a divorce, the court pays especially close attention to each parent’s ability to foster a healthy relationship between the child and the other parent. This is one of the most important factors the court considers, and it can have a significant impact on custody outcomes.
Specifically, the court wants to know whether each parent, during their time with the child, will continue to nurture and support the child’s relationship with the other parent. Can the child take phone calls from the other parent? Is the child able to communicate freely? Is the child living in an environment free from disparaging comments about the other parent?
Colorado courts understand that exposing a child to parental conflict is harmful. Making a child feel guilty or ashamed for having positive feelings about their other parent is something courts view very seriously. A parent who consistently undermines the child’s relationship with the other parent may find that this behavior works against them when custody decisions are made.
How Decision-Making Is Divided
In a high conflict situation, the court is more likely to divide decision-making responsibilities between the parents rather than granting joint decision-making authority. This means each parent may be assigned primary authority over specific areas of the child’s life.
For example, one parent might be given decision-making responsibility for education and healthcare, while the other parent handles religion and extracurricular activities. This approach gives each parent their own lane and reduces the number of decisions that require cooperation between two people who have demonstrated they cannot work together effectively.
However, the court cannot divide decision-making arbitrarily. For each area of responsibility, the court must make a specific finding explaining why that assignment serves the child’s best interests. This ensures that the division is thoughtful and grounded in the facts of the case rather than applied as a default solution.
The Cost of High Conflict
Beyond the emotional toll, high conflict divorces have practical consequences. They make the court’s job harder, cause cases to drag on longer, and drive up legal costs for both parties. Every issue that cannot be resolved through agreement must be decided by a judge, and a judge has a limited amount of time to spend on any single case before moving on to the next one.
This is one of the strongest arguments for finding a way to resolve disputes outside of court whenever possible. When parents retain the ability to make decisions together, even on a limited number of issues, they maintain more control over the outcome. Handing every decision to a judge means accepting a result that may not fully reflect either parent’s wishes.
Taking the Next Step
If you are dealing with a high conflict custody situation in Colorado, having an experienced family law attorney on your side can make a meaningful difference. An attorney can help you understand how the court is likely to view your case, advise you on how to present yourself effectively, and work toward outcomes that protect both you and your children.
