What does “family” mean to you? If somebody is about to show you a photo of their “family,” what do you expect to see? Is that what you expect of your family too? While it is not required that your definition of “family” conform to the family you were raised in, or to anyone else’s, it is absolutely essential for your future happiness that you decide upon your definition, based upon your own values. “Anything goes” can be a prescription for losing the sense of family altogether.
Sometimes your life is “fine.” That usually is an indication that they could be better. You just may not be sure how … and not willing or able to explore that question. Better doesn’t necessarily mean changing your relationship(s). It does mean understanding what better means to you, and inviting your relationships to grow with you. Then that choice is theirs.
Divorce almost always means losing some, or most, of your social connections. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Your true friends will remain, and you have the opportunity to connect to your community … your tribe … in a way that you may have neglected during your marriage.
Significant life changes, including but not limited to divorce, activate our “fight or flight” responses and trigger a range of emotions, many of them very unpleasant. It’s important to address the understandable mental health aspects of this in the present. At the same time, it’s also important to start mapping out aspects of your future. It can seem daunting to think about where you’re headed when you’re in the midst of difficult times, but it is these times in particular that provide opportunities for growth like none other.
Sometimes you feel like you are “done” and just want out as quickly as possible. It is in these moments that many soon-to-be-divorced spouses make decisions that come back to haunt them for years and years to come. This is a process to deciding what you want, and moving purposefully and diligently … but not hastily … toward it.
In this three-part blog series, we discuss how to successfully navigate major life changes such as divorce. Any major life change can be broken down into three primary phases: Decision, Transition, Equilibrium. This article will focus on the Equilibrium phase.
In this inaugural Blog, co-founder Penn A. Dodson gives a glimpse of the vision that we, at New Leaf, have for the growth and thriving of our clients. When you are facing big decisions in your life, it can be scary. The future can look dark at first. But like a seed in nature, this is how growth begins. From there, it can be glorious.